Inn Too Deep

Conversation with my mother during a recent road trip:

Me: The country out here is beautiful

Mom: Yeah, wouldn't it be great to open a bed and breakfast out here?

Me: In theory yes, but I think it would be hard work. Not sure I'm up to it.

Mom: It wouldn't be hard work. You could just hire someone to do the work for you.

Me: I've known a few people who have B&B's and most of them are barely scraping by. I doubt I'd be able to afford to hire anyone.

Mom: What you do is hire a college girl who needs extra money. She could be your maid and you'd give her a room. Then you can enjoy your place and just hang out and write and talk to the neighbors.

Me: (scratching head). Mom...that's the plot of Newhart.

Mom: And you could get a handy man to live there too.

Me: Let me guess...he's a lovable yet dimwitted local with a knack for fixing things. And he lives down in the basement right?

Mom: Yes! Wouldn't that be fun?

Me: Still Newhart.

Mom: Or you could hire someone from another country who could work cheap. A maintenance man.

Me: Mom, that's the plot of Fawlty Towers.

Husband: (laughs out loud). Yes, I do believe your Inn would be more like Fawlty Towers.

Me: (getting frustrated). The owner of Fawlty Towers never looks like he is having fun. He just wants to be left alone but the Inn keeps falling apart.

Mom: I don't know why he isn't having fun. I'd have fun if I owned an Inn. I'm still not sure why he's at war with his wife. But I think he is secretly having fun.

Me: (bites lip). You do realize these are TV shows right? That people like me sit around writing things and none of this is real?

Mom: Of course I realize that! But it does look like fun. Especially when you have neighbors like the Daryl brothers.

Me: Mom...

Husband: Honey...leave her alone.

Mom: You know what would really be fun? Having a big house and opening up a designing business with a few of your friends. Why don't you do that?

Me: Mom, that's the plot of Designing W....Oh, never mind. Yes, mom. That would be fun.