July 14, 2014

Vegas Baby

I just got back from Vegas. It was a five day trip and my husband's idea to go in Mid July. I felt like a toaster strudel all weekend.
We did have fun though. Had an AMAZING time at a Irish Pub in the walkway between the Luxor and Mandalay Bay. We stopped in for a drink and had six. Luckily, the only concerns we had getting home were in trying to master the escalator. We also had fun in The House of Blues in MB. Great 90s band rocked the house all night.

It is with a heavy heart that I announce I lost 167 dollars in ones that I had made during our summer garage sale. It all went bye bye in the slot machines. At one point I was ahead 11 dollars and I felt on top of the world. But Vegas will rip your heart out. It will give you just enough to think about buying that wristband at an all-you-can-eat buffet before sending you back to the 3.5 star hotel room you are staying at with nothing but the cute shoes you are making your husband carry for you in between casinos.
By far the most interesting experience of the trip was ending up in an 'adults only' pool. We paid 50 bucks for my husband to get in and I was free. The pool opened at 11 and by 1 nearly half the women there had their tops off. I havnt seen that many red boobs out in public since the nursing sit-in at Target 5 years ago. Eventually, even my husband got bored and went back to reading his book. I never took my top off. I thought surely there must be equity in being different. Nope. It doesn't appear so. One of the least attractive women I have ever seen poured vodka down the crick of her behind and invited men to suck it out (granted she had a nice butt. There was huge speculation that she might be a man because women just don't have butts like that). There were celebrities in the pool that obliged, celebrities that play wholesome fathers on TV. This was enough to ruin TV for me forever and before I got rid of Comcast entirely I told my husband we had to go.
The best thing about the trip was finally being off my diet. I really don't know why I restricted my calories and did cardio every day for the last six weeks just to have strangers silently gauge my worth. But truth be told I'd do it again.
All things said it was a tame trip, which is a good thing for those I came into contact with.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas may be the motto, but that's only if you don't have a camera or run into a writer looking for a good story.

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