August 17, 2014

Craigslist Ad: Single Sock Seeks Sole-Mate

I'm a single, white sock who recently lost his mate in a lint fire accident. I'm relatively young (only two years since I was purchased from Target) and in good shape (although I am starting to thin a little in the thread department).

Seeking mate with similar ideals. Must enjoy long walks, cuddling in balls, and Dr. Scholls. Bonus points for those who've performed in puppet shows.

Pattern, fabric, length unimportant so long as you can comfortably accommodate a size 11 foot.

I'm okay with holes, we all have a past, just as long as you've left that drama in the drawer.

I am Athlete's Foot free. You should be too.

Let's meet at the gym for a workout and see where that takes us. If all goes well after a few dates, I will introduce you to my shoes.

I await your response,

A lonely sock.

April Aasheim is the author of The Universe is a Very Big Place, a quirky, romantic comedy.

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