February 14, 2014

Taking the O out of ROmance

It might be a shocker for those of you who have read my stuff, but Valentine's Day has never held much romantic interest for me. I love love of course. When it's true and from the heart. But setting aside a special day just to commemorate it seems a bit ironic if you ask me.

Not to mention most of my friends growing up have been guys. Most of them never put much stock into Valentine's Day. They either waited until the last minute and grabbed something on the way home, or went all out because it was a new relationship or they had done something REALLY, REALLY bad. And when their girlfriends gave them a card they acted like it was torture to have to read the entire poem printed on the inside and then express back to her just what it meant to him (what it meant was that he wasn't watching the Lakers game for the past 4 minutes). Its no wonder Im a bit of a cynic when it comes to V-Day. As a matter of fact, I just asked my husband for the cash so I could buy my own gift. Of course, gift certificates work too.

Not that we aren't planning on being romantic. We have a few hours set aside today just for us, followed by a couples massage and a dinner out. But he need not get the flowers or the candy or the stuffed bear. Candy makes me fat, flowers wilt, and a stuffed bear will just be used as a body pillow.

Keeping with my not so romantic theme here are a few discussions around my house this week regarding the upcoming V-Day...

Valentine's Gifts Discussion:
Husband: Would you like lingerie for Valentine's Day?
Me: Don't buy a woman lingerie.
Husband: Why?
Me: If its too big its an insult, too small its painful. PLUS, its a gift for you.
Husband: I don't understand.
Me: Think of something I'd never buy myself.
Husband: That's why I said lingerie!

Romance:
Me: You forgot to give me a card on our anniversary!
Husband: You didn't give me a card either.
Me: I don't have to. Im a woman.

Husband talks romance and valentines day.
"I don't really like romance but I know some people appreciate it so I try and so some stuff." Oh my beating heart.

I talk sex:
Me: "Is it an on night or an off night?"
Husband: "Why do you ask?"
Me: "I'm trying to decide if I should wear cute underwear or grannies to bed."
Husband: "Just wear the grannies. That killed the mood."

Husband: Why is your cat always watching us? It gives me the creeps.


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