I had the most disturbing conversation with my husband last night, after a few glasses of wine.We were talking about the alleged breakup of Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.Now, I never knew they formally dated. I saw the sexual tension between the two of them, but maybe I missed the whole real courtship.
I asked my husband about it, in case he could direct me to the proper sources.
His response was a furrowed brow and a Hmmm.
"What?" I asked.
"How do you think they do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Logistics wise," he said.
"I don't know."
"What the hell?"
"You know, like doggy but with their legs splayed out."
"Now that's just sick. And ack! I can't get the image out of my head."
He smiles at me. "Sorry about that." He pauses a moment, takes another sip of his wine, and then continues. "Do you think he just flops around. Like you know how his arms go all jiggly?"
I couldn't dislodge the image of Kermit flopping around on Miss Piggy from my head. I tried reverse it by having her be the one on top. That wasn't any better.
"I hate you," I said.
"Because you ruined my childhood. It was okay for me to picture them kissing, but this...this..." I swallowed the last of my drink. "I can never go back to the Shire now, you know that, right?"
"You're welcome. Now how about some green eggs and ham?"