February 17, 2014

Tips for New Writers

I get asked all the time now what advice I would give to new writers. After some careful consideration I've narrowed it down to four things:



1. Develop a thick skin. Your mom may love your poems. Your spouse may adore your short stories. Your college teacher may tell you that you are the next Hemingway.  But in the real world, outside of our safety bubble, not everyone is going to like everything you write. And that's okay. Its part of the process. From time to time you may experience rejection, criticism, and even downright loathing. You can't let this get to you. There are many great stories that never would have been born if the writer had given up because a few people didn't like it. Stay true to yourself and keep at it.



2. Listen to Criticism. This goes hand in hand with #1. When people are critiquing your work, really listen to what they are saying. They might have insight you just aren't seeing. Use the helpful stuff and throw away the rest. Ultimately it's your work and you need to make it the best you can, but that doesn't mean taking every suggestion someone throws out.



3. Keep a Journal. Keeping a journal and recording my innermost thoughts and feelings helped me develop my voice. It also helped me to write honestly. When I started writing my novels I no longer tried to write like Tolkien or King. I was writing as myself. This was all thanks to the countless hours I spent working on my diary.




4. Read. Most authors I know were inspired to write because of the books they had read. That shouldn't change just because you are now writing and feel strapped for time. In fact, it should be more important. You need to read to see what else is out there, what is relevant, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel nothing. The one thing I caution is to guard against the tendency to write in the style of whoever you are reading. It is okay to be inspired by someones style. It is not okay to copy them.




5. Write Daily. I've heard countless successful authors say that with every writing session their craft improved. I have to agree. At some point things just start to 'click'. I can't say what the trigger is, but there's an aha moment and the words seem to flow out effortlessly. In fact, it almost feels like cheating. To get to that point you need to do three things: Practice. Practice. Practice.


*
April Aasheim is the author of The Witches of Dark Root http://amzn.com/B00D6OUDDG
and The Universe is a Very Big Place http://amzn.com/B008QSTLQ2

The Magick of Dark Root (Prologue Sneak Peek)

    Prologue
Dark Root, Oregon
Winter Solstice
The Distant Past

Sasha Benbridge ran through the forest, her brown hair tumbling from its pin curls and unfurling down her slender back. Light on her toes and nimble with youth, she rushed towards the spot where she had seen the silver cord of lightning strike the earth just minutes before. Excitement threatened to swallow her up as she raced towards her destination. Her mother had prophesied that she would find her tree today, and Sasha had never known her mother to be wrong, at least in matters of witchcraft.

“Hurry,” she whispered aloud, though her voice was lost to the wind that whipped through the endless forest around her. She quickened her pace, leaping over the debris that shrouded her path. She couldn’t risk losing her tree. At twenty years old she had waited too long already. But today was the day she would take her wand and come into her full power as a witch. She just knew it.

She heard the rush of water and could make out snatches of sunlight ahead of her. She must be near a meadow. Good. Though she was a daughter of the woods she wanted a clear view of her surroundings before she performed the ritual.

To Sasha’s right she glimpsed a large, dark shape crouching among the trees. She could only hope it was a bear. There were more frightening things in this forest than wild animals, and until she had the wand in her hands, she wasn't sure if she could match the worst of them. She touched the amulet that hung around her neck and said a brief spell of protection. The shape slunk backwards and disappeared.

At last the forest opened up into a wide clearing, cut through the middle by a swift-moving river that disappeared into the woods on either end. There were many rivers in and around Dark Root, but the waters here looked deeper and more treacherous than any Sasha had seen before. This one fed on the lesser tributaries of the region, she thought, devouring them whole on its journey towards the ocean.

In the center of the meadow, on the top of a slope just feet from the river, stood a solitary tree: a thirty-foot-tall willow with moonbeam-colored boughs that fell to the earth in smooth, clean arcs like half-formed rainbows. The earth around the tree was wet, and Sasha approached it carefully. One misplaced step and she could slide into the river.

The branches wafted in the wind like long, sinuous fingers beckoning her forward. Sasha lifted several of the lower boughs and ducked into the tree’s canopy. It was darker in this secret chamber but she could still discern the smooth trunk from which the boughs sprang. Sasha crept towards it, one hand gripping her amulet as she reached forward with the other. A witch only gets one wand and she had to be certain. When her hands found the trunk she felt a jolt of electricity, a small jolt that nearly stopped her heart. A wide smile crossed Sasha’s face. Her mother’s prophesy had been correct. This was her tree.

Satisfied, she left the tree’s cover and stood before the willow. The sun had settled behind the mountains to the East but the tree was still aglow, lit up by the soil from which it grew. Being the only willow in the region, Sasha knew it had absorbed all the magic rich nutrients reserved for trees of its kind. Her fingers tingled as she pondered the possibilities.

“Blessed tree,” she began, kneeling before the willow, her arms outstretched. “My name is Sasha Benbridge and I have come to ask your permission to take a bough in order to create my wand. I am pure of heart and will not use its magick to inflict harm to others.”

Sasha waited, watching for a response from the tree. At last the boughs began to bob, as if to say yes. Sasha stood, retrieving the small knife from her garter, concealed beneath her white cotton dress. She displayed the knife to the tree, giving the willow a moment to reconsider. When it did not move, she stepped forward.  

“I'm sorry if this hurts,” she whispered as she carefully sawed off branch the length of her forearm. The tree flinched and she stroked it until it calmed. Finally, the branch fell from the tree. “Thank you,” she said, encircling her palm around its severed limb. Within seconds the warmth of her touch healed the tree.

In her peripheral Sasha noticed a shape emerge from the woods: a tall, lank figure in a scarlet cloak. Sasha turned her head to the figure. “Larinda, were you following me? I suppose you will run to mother and tell on me? Well, she knows I’m here and…”

“Dear cousin,” Larinda interrupted. “You misjudge my intentions. I’m only here because I was worried about you. It is getting dark and I saw you run off into the forest. What possessed you to run off so far into the woods on the night of the Solstice?”
 
Sasha held out the branch. “At last, I have found my wand.”

Larinda threw back the hood of her cloak, revealing hair as black as the night and skin as pale as the moon. Her thin red lips curled up, somewhere between a snarl and a smile. “You have waited so long, already, dear cousin. What makes this branch so special?”

“It is from a willow. The only of its kind in Dark Root. And,” she said, her eyes sparkling, “it was kissed by lightning. Doubly blessed!”

“A willow? Will you devote your life to the healing arts then?” Larinda’s face could no longer contain her contempt. “Perhaps you will become a nurse, walking the battlefields like Clara Barton.”

“Perhaps,” Sasha answered, her eyes fixing on her wand. “But theres so much more. Don’t you see Larinda, with this wood, and the magic that runs through our blood, I can live forever if I choose!” She raised her face to her cousins, waiting for Larinda to grasp the implications.

“You mean…” Larinda turned her attention on the willow tree.

“Yes. As long as the tree remains alive, so will I.”

“But willows don’t live that long.”

“In Dark Root they do.” Sasha ran her fingers over the sleek wood in her hands. “And I can give it a little help.”

Larinda charged at the tree, yanking at one of it’s limbs. “I want that power. I didn’t know about it. It isn't fair.” But the branches pulled back and Larinda could not touch a one.

“You have your wand,” Sasha said. “And it is a good wand. Illusion is a powerful magic.”

“Nothing is as powerful as the gift of eternal life,” Larinda said. “You get everything and I get nothing.”
 
Sasha placed her hand on her cousin’s shoulder to comfort her. “You are my blood. I will use the wand on you as well. All of our family. We will be young forever, together. Now, help me protect the tree. We must keep this to ourselves. Promise?”

“If you promise to always take care of me.”
 
“Yes, my darling. Now we must hurry back. Tonight is the solstice and mother says we need to perform a ceremony to keep out those who wish to use the magic of Dark Root against us. And then, she will pass the circle onto me.”

The two women turned back towards the forest. Larinda gave the tree a final glance. “Sasha. What will we do with eternal youth?”

Sasha smiled, lifting her chin towards the waning sun before entering the darkness of the woods. “I’m going to travel. Become an actress. Have a million lovers. And be famous. Maybe change my name to something more theatrical. After all, what good is magic if you don’t use it?”








February 16, 2014

First Draft Editing for The Magick of Dark Root

Just started editing my first draft for The Magick of Dark Root. Thought I'd give you all a glimpse of the creative process, which is actually less creative and more of a process. Still, its so exciting to get that far along in a project. Hoping this will be out by May 2014. The sequel to The Witches of Dark Root is about life, what it means and why we are here. Oh, and there will be a zombie. Gotta have a zombie.

February 14, 2014

Taking the O out of ROmance

It might be a shocker for those of you who have read my stuff, but Valentine's Day has never held much romantic interest for me. I love love of course. When it's true and from the heart. But setting aside a special day just to commemorate it seems a bit ironic if you ask me.

Not to mention most of my friends growing up have been guys. Most of them never put much stock into Valentine's Day. They either waited until the last minute and grabbed something on the way home, or went all out because it was a new relationship or they had done something REALLY, REALLY bad. And when their girlfriends gave them a card they acted like it was torture to have to read the entire poem printed on the inside and then express back to her just what it meant to him (what it meant was that he wasn't watching the Lakers game for the past 4 minutes). Its no wonder Im a bit of a cynic when it comes to V-Day. As a matter of fact, I just asked my husband for the cash so I could buy my own gift. Of course, gift certificates work too.

Not that we aren't planning on being romantic. We have a few hours set aside today just for us, followed by a couples massage and a dinner out. But he need not get the flowers or the candy or the stuffed bear. Candy makes me fat, flowers wilt, and a stuffed bear will just be used as a body pillow.

Keeping with my not so romantic theme here are a few discussions around my house this week regarding the upcoming V-Day...

Valentine's Gifts Discussion:
Husband: Would you like lingerie for Valentine's Day?
Me: Don't buy a woman lingerie.
Husband: Why?
Me: If its too big its an insult, too small its painful. PLUS, its a gift for you.
Husband: I don't understand.
Me: Think of something I'd never buy myself.
Husband: That's why I said lingerie!

Romance:
Me: You forgot to give me a card on our anniversary!
Husband: You didn't give me a card either.
Me: I don't have to. Im a woman.

Husband talks romance and valentines day.
"I don't really like romance but I know some people appreciate it so I try and so some stuff." Oh my beating heart.

I talk sex:
Me: "Is it an on night or an off night?"
Husband: "Why do you ask?"
Me: "I'm trying to decide if I should wear cute underwear or grannies to bed."
Husband: "Just wear the grannies. That killed the mood."

Husband: Why is your cat always watching us? It gives me the creeps.


February 12, 2014

Men Buying Cards

Was just in Target in the greeting card section. There were about a dozen of us women all lined up, reading every card, oohing and awing as we opened and closed each one.
One by one we decided on the perfect Valentine and moved on, allowing someone else to fill up our section in the line. On average, it took us each about ten to fifteen minutes.

What struck me was the men who filtered into our group. Many of them saw a card, opened it, scanned it, then put it into their carts without a second glance at another card.
One pair of men (who were obviously friends)struck up this conversation:
Man 1: That card (you are holding) looks perfect for my girlfriend. Can you hand me one too?
Man 2: Sure. We haven't introduced them yet, have we? *laugh*
Man 1: No, dude. Let's wait until after Valentine's Day for that.
Man 2: We done shopping?
Man 1: Yep.

And they say romance is dead.

Excerpt from The Magick of Dark Root (Coming Soon)


Nineteen 

There are nights when you question just about everything: who you are, where you've come from, what your purpose is, and how you got to your current place in life.

And then there are nights when you just accept things.

Nights like this, when you stand beneath a bloated yellow moon, digging a shallow grave for the man you murdered -- a man who probably has a wife and children, a job and a mother -- a man who probably wouldn't have tried to molest your kid sister if you weren't out hustling money in the first place and if she hadn't been wearing a perfume meant to turn men into drunken love slaves.

These are the nights you try not to think. Because if you think - about the corpse sitting in the passenger seat of his own car just a dozen feet away, about your inability to determine wrong from right anymore, about the fact that your mother was right, you are a fence sitter just like your father - you just might go mad.

And I couldn't go mad. Not yet anyway. It was Thanksgiving, officially, and I wasn't going to let this little incident ruin the holidays. I had already screwed up and not gotten Merry her organic turkey. One fuck up per holiday was all I could handle.

“No,” I said, hearing myself speak the words as I plunged my shovel into the earth and tossed out another spade full of sand. “I can’t go mad until after the holidays. It’s just five more weeks, if you count New Years.”

“Maggie, you okay?” Merry stopped digging and faced me, her eyes wide with concern. In this lighting, as her golden hair framed her round face, she looked more angelic than ever. “You can take a break if you need to. We’ll be okay.”

“Me? I’m fine, Merry. Thanks for asking.”

I caught my sisters shooting each other knowing looks, looks that said I wasn’t all right, in fact I’d lost my marbles.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, throwing out an extra large helping of dirt and wondering how much deeper we would need to dig. The spell said to encase the subject in a box then bury him under the light of a full moon, but it didn't’ specify how deep the grave needed to be. An unhelpful omission, if you ask me. Since the subject would eventually dig his way out of it, clawing his way through the makeshift coffin and layers of sand over his face, I conjectured we shouldn't dig it too deeply. Just an inch or two above the box should do it.

We had one lucky break, however. We had killed him on a night with a full moon. If I’ve learned anything from this little ordeal it’s that if you are going to commit murder, and have any intention of bringing the deceased back to life, always plan it around a full moon. Lucky break for Maggie!

“I think,” I said, continuing to dig, “that this might be a lucrative business. Bringing people back from the dead. If it works out, we might start charging for it. Gotta bring in more money than that stupid magick store does.”

“Maggie, stop,” Eve said, wiping her forehead with her cashmere gloves, which were now caked in mud.

“I’m just saying…why not? We can call it Zombies R Us. You kill ‘em, we heal ‘em.” I grinned at Ruth Anne, sure she would appreciate my joke. She shook her head and continued digging. “What?” I asked, throwing my shovel onto the ground. “Are we too good for death jokes now?”

Merry pressed her lips together. “Honey, you’ve had a terrible shock and now its setting in. Go sit on the steps and we’ll finish this. We’ll call you when it’s done.”

“No!” The sound that came out of me pierced the night, like the call of a wounded screech owl. I waved at the air with both hands, as if I were being assaulted by an invisible man, tears stinging my eyes. “I won’t sit by while my sisters bury the man I…” I choked, unable to finish the sentence. “Neither hell nor jail is good enough for me.”

I felt someone’s arms wrap around me, and recognized the scent, vanilla and lavender, as Merry’s. I hyperventilated, choking on my own snot, as she cooed me to quiet. “It’s okay, honey,” she said, running her fingers through my matted hair as she worked out the knots. “It will be okay.”

How could I explain to her that she was wrong? Nothing would ever be the same. Even if we did manage to raise him, I was a killer. I had the deathtouch, just like my father. And there was no going back from that.

“What if we can’t do it, Merry?” I sniffed, wiping my nose on her shoulder as I stared at the Christmas tree box we had retrieved from the basement; the box that would soon be a coffin.

“We will,” she said, pulling the hair stuck from tears away from my face. “And everything will be okay. You’ll see.”

“I think this is deep enough,” Ruth Anne announced, tossing her shovel onto the ground as Eve followed suit. “We’d better hurry.”

I took one final sob of self-pity and nodded. Merry grabbed my hand and we marched to the car.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the man as I opened the passenger door. He was still buckled in, staring straight ahead. I leaned over and removed his seat belt, feeling the coldness of his skin as we hefted him out of the car. You hear that dead bodies grow cold, but you don’t know how cold. It’s not the type of cold you’d find in a freezer or in snow. It’s an empty type of cold, like floating in deep space. A coldness without hope.
**
For the first book in the series click here: The Witches of Dark Root: Book One

February 11, 2014

New Cover. Now Just 99 Cents!

In honor of a new cover for The Witches of Dark Root, I am offering it for just 99 cents to download from Amazon for a limited time. (Note, the free book deal expired Feb 13th. Sorry.)


Four sisters return to their hometown of Dark Root to save a cursed mother and a town that has lost its magic. Will love prevail, or will the darkness take them all?






January 31, 2014

Worst Restaurant Names and Concepts






Staring to brainstorm ideas for the sequel to The Universe is a Very Big Place. For those of you who haven't read it, its a romantic comedy (emphasis on comedy). Thinking of names for the worst restaurants and food concept establishments in a small town environment. Here are the ones that didn't make the cut.

  1. In and Out Mexican Food (the name speaks for itself)
  2. To-Foods (like Whole Foods but they sell only tofu based items)
  3. The Green Pea (Country diner and free clinic)
  4. The Petri Dish (not so fine French cuisine)
  5. The Bachteria (a family friendly, all you can eat place that plays classical music)
  6. Pick a Chick (you meet your hen before its cooked)
  7. A Taste of Phish (seafood buffet with patchouli and tie-dye décor)
  8. Cravings (a place for pregnant women to go and combine any manner of disgusting foods)
  9. Thai-Foid Kitchen (a small typo in the sign that was never corrected)
  10. Happy Foods All You Can Eat Panda Buffet (another typo, but its up, what can you do?)
  11. Jesus Pizzas (guaranteed delivery before the rapture)
  12. Smart Alex Trivia Café (a Jeopardy themed restaurant. Its specialty is green Jello shaped like a brain.
  13. The Sausage Fest (very popular in certain communities and with women ages 45-65)
  14. Scavengers (find your food with a series of clues before somebody else does)
  15. The Hot Log (Giant wieners fit for a lumberjack sized hunger)
  16. Prawneria (spicy sea creatures)
**
April Aasheim is the author of The Witches of Dark Root (3.49)
and The Universe is a Very Big Place (2.99). Both available on Amazon.










January 29, 2014

First Draft Done

It's official. Today I finished the first draft to the sequel of The Witches of Dark Root. It is 93,000 words long and I was crying at the end.

Now to put it away for several weeks and then take it out again, to begin the arduous process of the second draft. The first draft is creative but tough, the second draft, at least for me, is brutal.

At least for the next few weeks I can work on other things now that my head isn't tied into the book. Updating my blog is high up on my list.

For those of you who keep asking: The Magick of Dark Root probably won't be available until at least May. If I put it out now I doubt you could read it :)

Thanks for all the support!

April

January 22, 2014

Quotes From Hubby

Things my husband has said to me this week:

What's a hashtag and where can I get me some of them?

I'm not bald. Bald is when your hair falls out. I shave my head. I'm bare.

Where do we keep the lunchmeat?

We have conversations all the time. You talk to me with the expectation that I will listen. That's a conversation.

How do you cook a hotdog?







January 10, 2014

Fat Cat

My cat weighs 11.5 pounds. I'm not sure if that's good or not. Hes about 10 months old and steadily gaining. Of course, when you're a cat, one pound makes a difference between svelt and obese. Kinda like my five foot frame. Maybe I need to put us both on a diet.

January 5, 2014

My New Year's Manifesto

Life is short. Don't waste it trying to prove your worth to others. How you feel about yourself is the only thing that matters.
Love wildly, with abandon, and without expecting anything in return.
Cry at sad movies and cheer inappropriately at the ends of really great ones.
Read poetry in the rain. Revel in the words of those who came before you.
Dance to your favorite songs, even if the music is playing only in your head.
Share your wisdom but accept that every person has to find their own path and their own way. Nothing teaches like experience.
Do something silly at least once a day. Twice on Saturdays.
Wear bright colors on the days you don't want to be seen.
Ask someone about their story. You'd be surprised what you may learn.
See the world through the eyes of a child. Innocence is our only salvation.
Eat chocolate before dinner.
Do something that's not on your to-do list. Better yet, crumple up your to-do list. Make a to-be list instead.
Speak honestly but kindly.
Treat yourself with compassion. There is only one you.
And you are a light in the world.

January 3, 2014

My Favorite All Time Reads

Just compiling a list of my all time favorite reads as I start my new year. I'm hoping that by next year I will have even more books that will have such lasting effects as these have had on me.

On the Road: So I only read this last spring but I have a feeling this one will stay with me a long time. The narrators passion and exuberance for life and adventure make him a sympathetic character, even when he's doing things that shouldn't evoke sympathy. This book stands the test of time.

Gone with the Wind: I first read this book when I was 16, then again at 24. Now a full-fledged adult (complete with cellulite and a mortgage) I tried reading it again to see if it was really 'all that'. And yes, it was. Mitchell is a marvelous writer who makes an unlikable character likable and transports you back into another era. I realize there's content we may not find politically correct nowadays, but I'm a firm believer in not censoring something or pretending it didn't exist. It is only through reminders of how things used to be that we make any progress at all.

Wuthering Heights: More unlikable characters but I was rooting for Heathcliff and Cathy the entire book. They are reckless, careless, and terribly in love but, because of Catherine's pride, are kept apart. It is only in death that they are able to be together. Over the top? Yes. But deliciously so.

Fingerprints of the Gods: Before there was Ancient Aliens on TV there were books like Graham Hancock's Fingerprints of the Gods. This book makes the case that at one time there was an advanced human society walking the earth destroyed by a massive flood. Atlantis anyone? This book changed the way I looked at everything. Looking forward to the sequel.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: I read this when I was 14 and though I couldn't get all the political humor, I knew, even then, that it was a work of art. Jabberwocky is still my second favorite poem (right behind The Raven) and I can still flip through the book and find a passage that is relevant and interesting. This is a book with layers that both children and adults can appreciate.

Fried Green Tomatoes at Whistlestop Café: The book that turned me into a lover (and a writer) of women's fiction. Fannie Flagg has a way of weaving humor and drama into all of her books and in my opinion this is her very best work. A story that's both humorous and poignant, a story that still plays through my mind.

Where the Heart Is. Maybe its because I was a teen parent myself who also grew up in 'homes on wheels', but I could really sympathize with Novalee. She proved that your past didn't dictate your future and that as long as you had love you had hope. I reread this book many times when I was seeking reassurance and validation in my own life. It also strengthened my love of
women's fiction.

The Princess Bride (The Good Parts). The story was good and I read the book shortly after seeing it in the theatre with my dad (five times) but what really got to me about the book was the narrators voice. He was real and raw and his words still echo through my head "who says life is fair?" It was a contrast between the beauty of the fairy tale and the stark reality of a real, not quite what we hoped for, sort of life. Lifes not a fairy tale but we can still look to them to pull us through. That's what fairy tales are for.

Clan of the Cave Bear (and its sequels). I was thrilled when I moved to Oregon and learned that Jean Auel is a native. I loved her books and they opened my eyes to a world of human ingenuity and determination. In the later books I think they gave Ayla credit for far too many things, but her character and her world was still so interesting. I even named my half-wolf dog Ayla in honor of how much I loved these books.

What Dreams May Come. Yep, Im a weirdo, as for the next month after finishing this story I actually wanted to die and visit this picture of heaven that the author created. I wasn't afraid of death, at least not then. Beautiful book with an important message: we go on.

January 2, 2014

A Man Who Looked Like Jesus

While standing in the checkout line on Christmas Eve with my mother we spy a Time Magazine. On its cover is a giant picture of Jesus.

Mother wanders over to the picture and begins to trace the lines of his hair with her fingers. In a very loud voice she says, "do you know who this looks like?"

At this, the entire line turns in her direction.

"Jesus?" I answer.

"Well, yes, but..."

"Every rock star from the 70's?"

"Oh, them too, but..."

"But?"

There is snickering from the crowd as my mother attempts to sort this out in her brain.
"A famous pool player I used to date. Back when you were a baby."

I hold my tongue. My mom dated a lot of people 'back when I was a baby'. So eager was she to regain her figure and her dating life that I've been told I was weaned while still in the uterus.

"Yes," she says, spurred on by the entire line of last minute shoppers who were her captive audience by now. "How do you think I learned to hustle pool?"

"I have no idea."

"He put ball bearings in his pool stick to help with balance," mother said, demonstrating as she held an imaginary stick over the conveyor belt, lining it up against three cans of corn. "No one could whoop me when I had his stick in my hands."

At that the crowd behind us burst into laughter and mother repeated, "its true."

"That's nice," I say as the checker calls us to pay for our goods.

"Maybe I should buy the magazine," mother continues, looking at it wistfully and mentally calculating whether or not she can afford the 8.99 asking price. It's a steep price for a senior living on a fixed income.

"Its a lot of money," I say, always the voice of reason.

"Yes," she agrees. "But every time I look at Jesus I can think about my pool hustling days and my old boyfriends. It might be worth it."

"And that," I said, grabbing my bags, "is what Christmas is really all about."

December 28, 2013

December 4, 2013

Mrs Claus Has Had Enough

(This came about as a challenge to write a 500 word humorous Christmas Story)

Goody Clause and the Christmas Purpose



Tippy, tippy, tap. Little elven feet exploded on tabletops, whirling and twirling to the rhythm of a tambourine. Weekend dads posed with their kids as reporters clicked cameras. The North Pole was busy this time of year. Mrs. Clause – Goody to her friends - smiled for a quick shot and then excused herself to ‘bake cookies’.
Inside the office, Goody kicked off her shoes and slid out of her Spanx. She surveyed the room. Even in this sanctuary toys were stacked ceiling high. She reached for a cookie, thought better of it, and turned away. Even her Spanx needed Spanx. A growling noise caught her attention and she turned to see her husband sleeping in his favorite chair, a concerned wrinkle across his brow. “Poor dear,” she said, covering him and kissing his cheek. With only two weeks till Christmas he had been putting in long hours, and it was beginning to show.
Goody sighed, remembering simpler times. Dolls for girls. Trains for boys.  Coal for the naughty. Nowadays everyone wanted dolls that peed and trains that moved. And Elves didn’t make batteries. Santa had to outsource that job to China.
And kids today…one toy wasn’t enough…they had lists! And now with the population tipping at seven billion… Goody furrowed her brow. She wasn’t good at mat, but she knew there were not enough elves in the Arctic to accommodate that load.
“That’s it,” she said, flopping into the computer chair. “I wash my hands of this. Santa’s exhausted and I’m fat. We’re moving to Belize.” Goody flipped on her husband’s computer and fantasized about her new life. She had spent the last 200 years baking, smiling, and feeding reindeer. Maybe now she could work out, play Bunco, and watch Oprah. She could find her purpose.
She was googling ‘things to do in Belize’ when an odd blinking light appeared in the corner of her monitor. Alarmed that she had broken something, she almost roused Santa. Then she noticed it was a message. A magic, coded message!
Dear Santa,
I no u r buzy but can I plz have a doll for xmas. I need some1 to luv me.
Mary Dryer
Goody shook her head as an image of Mary Dryer popped into her memory. A dark-haired beauty with large eyes. A child who wanted just one doll for Christmas. Goody groaned as Google summoned up pictures of a Belizean beach.
“Well, darn it,” she said, rolling the chair to the doll shelf across the room. She searched until she found the perfect one: a cuddly darling that didn’t pee.  “You will be well loved,” she said, giving the doll a kiss and sending it to the sleigh.
Goody watched as 100 linking lights filled the monitor.
Santa yawned. “Good nap. Anything interesting happen while I was out?”
“Yes. You got yourself a new assistant.”
“I did? Who?”
Goody stood, dusting crumbs from her gown. “Why, me of course. I just found my purpose.”

 
 *
April Aasheim maintains an active blog and is the writer of The Witches of Dark Root

November 20, 2013

Spring Gets News

The Universe is a Very Big Place will be on sale all week at Amazon as an ebook (.99 - 1.99) I will be posting excerpts throughout the week.


1997
“Come on, come on.” Spring tapped the little white stick against her knees, willing it to change color.
“I don’t think that’s gonna help,” Jason said. He was standing with his back pressed against the door of their stall, looking down at her. She should have stood too. It seemed like a standing occasion.  But after she had peed on the stick her knees refused to make the trip upward. They had just ceased to work. “If you keep messing with that stick you might skew the results.”
Spring shot him a look. “Since when do you use words like skew?”
Jason released his brown hair from the rubber band at the nape of his neck, only to gather it back up into a small pony tail and secure it again. He had done this at least a dozen times while they had waited for the results. “It’s one syllable. Don’t be shocked.”
Spring looked at the stick again. The little pink cross in the window had darkened, almost to a crimson red. She was not only pregnant. She was really, really pregnant. She thrust the stick at Jason and fell forward, cradling her knees. “Oh god!” Jason went to pat her head but she pulled away. “Please just stop.”
He said nothing as he squatted down beside. She could feel him listening to her, waiting for the sobs to subside. He had no problem fighting her, but he was at a loss when she cried. She took a deep breath to calm herself, a trick Lanie had taught her when she younger. She had suffered anxiety from crowds then, a job hazard for any carnie. “Breathe in, breath out,” Lanie had instructed her. “Find your center. C’mon girl. Stop breathing like you just run a fucking marathon. Slowly. In. out. Release.”
 Once she had calmed he reached for her hair, letting the baby fine strands of yellow-white ribbon slide through his fingers. She didn’t let many people touch her hair, but she let him. “I suppose,” she said, looking up at him with red, tear-stained eyes, “that purchasing a condom from a rusted machine in the lobby of Ed’s Guns and Exotic Animal Shoppe was probably not our wisest move.” She sobbed and laughed at the same time and felt a long line of snot fall from her nose. Jason grabbed a wad of toilet paper and caught it.
“You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here.”
Spring felt the wail in her throat and fought it. She was angry right now, and she was afraid she would say something she regretted. “I just got accepted into Arizona State,” she said, drying her eyes on the back of her hand. “After three years of struggling to get through Community College so that I could leave this… life behind, things were starting to change for me. Now what?”

“You can still go. This isn’t the 50’s.Girls go to school pregnant all the time. Even on TV.”
"I don’t want to go pregnant!” She started crying again and she tucked her face into her skirt, smearing mascara across the hem. He didn’t get it. “I wanted to go…hot.”
Jason laughed. “Hot’s what got you into this mess, my dear. You’re too hot for your own good.”
Spring snorted and took the tissue Jason offered her. He knew her too well. They had been friends for years, but a few drinks and a slow night slinging cotton candy last fall had changed it all. Now they were bound together, one way or another. As Lanie would say, their fate strings had gotten all jumbled up.
“I got a crazy idea,” he said, pulling her up by the arms. He was a good six inches taller than her and smelled like French fries and Old Spice. “Why don’t we get married? We’ve been practically living together in my van for the last six months. Why not make it official?” He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “Just think…you, me, the little Bambino, touring the country side together. If he’s musically inclined we could start a family band. Be like the Partridges. Only not so gay.”
 I could, she thought, nuzzling into him. He was safe and warm and familiar. She remembered the day her mother had picked him up on the side of the road nine six  earlier. “Hitch hiking to Santa Cruz” he had said, off to pursue his music career. He never made it to Santa Cruz. Once he learned how much money could be made hustling kids out of their allowance to see The Half Monkey Lady, he had settled in. That was the way it was here. The Carnival was one big roach motel. You check in, you eat a bunch of crap, and you stay until you die.  Very few people escaped. They had intentions of leaving, but one by one The Carnival took them all. Heart disease. Obesity. Drugs. Equipment failure. Dead by fifty, most of them. There was no fading gracefully into old age here. You just stopped. If it didn’t take them entirely it took some of their best parts. Just two months ago a young man had given up a limb to a roller coaster. He had climbed the steel mountain to fix a dangling bolt, when the car ran over his arm. They say he may have saved some people with his bravery. But the papers never heard of it. Bad for business. Now he’s quietly employed as the ticket taker at the back of the lot.
“What do you say?” Jason pulled her in tighter. “I bet I’m damned good at changing diapers.”
She took a deep breath. Though she cared about Jason, he had nothing more to offer her than his body, his guitar, and the eternal belief that someday he would roadie for Phish. “It wouldn’t work.” She whispered. “We’re too different. And besides…”
Jason released her from his arms and narrowed his eyes, ready to battle. “And besides what? Oh, never mind, I know. I’m not good enough for you.” He pushed through the stall door and into the empty bathroom. “Afraid you will end up like your mother?”
Spring lowered her eyes. Yes, she was afraid of that, and why not? It was a legitimate fear. But there was more to it. She followed him into the bathroom. “We just aren’t right for each other Jason.”
“Oh, I see.” Jason fell forward over the standalone sink, slamming his hands into the mirror. “We were right for each other a few weeks ago weren’t we? And even a few nights ago. But not for the long haul. No, Spring reserves that spot for someone more worthy. Am I right?”
 “Stop it. That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? Don’t think I don’t know about that little fairy tale you believe in. You get one love in this lifetime and that’s it right? Don’t waste it on the Ferris wheel guy.”
 Spring felt her knees give and her stomach roil. She moved back into the stall and fought the nausea. It seemed too early for morning sickness. “Jason, please. There are many reasons we aren’t right for each other. You’re my best friend but…”
“No, I get it. What could I possibly offer you?” He turned the water on and shut it off again. “I hope for your sake that fairy tales come true. Or you’re in for a long, lonely life.” Spring heard him pull a paper towel from the chute, wipe his hands, and toss it into the waste bin. “When you decide what you want to do let me know. I will be there for the baby if decide to keep it. And I hope you do keep it.” Spring listened as Jason stomped across the bathroom and out the door.
**
From The Universe is a Very Big Place. On sale Nov 20-26 through Amazon.

November 18, 2013

The Witches of Dark Root (Prologue)

Prologue for The Witches of Dark Root (on sale now).



 
 Miss Sasha’s Magick Shoppe, Dark Root, Oregon
February, 2005

 

The shop was cold and dimly lit, musty and confining.

A spider web had attached itself to the archway that separated the main room from the back and I ducked each time I passed beneath it, not bothering to sweep it down. Shelves lined every wall of Mother’s Magick shop, displaying the hundreds of candles, masks, figurines, and baubles that made Miss Sasha’s the most popular attraction in all of Dark Root.

While the oddities fascinated tourists, I hardly noticed them anymore as I went about my work.  I hardly noticed anything anymore, except the clock that ticked down the minutes until I was released from my daily servitude.

“Excuse me,” said a woman who had been meandering near the book section for the last hour. “Where is your restroom?”

I responded by opening the front door.

She looked like she was going to protest but decided against it. My apathy for the shop was notorious. She would probably lodge a complaint with my mother instead.

“You need to order more peppermint,” my sister Eve said, emerging from the back room and sucking on a piece of candy. “We’ve been out for almost a week.”

“You order it,” I responded.

If she was going to eat the supplies, she could order them as well.

Eve launched into a series of reasons why I should perform the task––I was practically a boy and therefore, better at math, I had no social life and thus had far more time for work, etc. I was about to tell her that it wouldn’t bother me if we ran out of everything, that the whole place could implode for all I cared, when a crystal figurine on a low shelf caught my eye. It was an owl, an ugly thing with eyes that bulged and a beak that hooked. I wasn’t sure who had ordered it but I was certain it would never find a buyer.

“Bet I beat you out of this town,” I said, tapping its beak.

A losing bet, I realized. It had wings. I didn’t even have a car.

I checked the clock again––five minutes ‘til closing time––and glanced around the shop. It wasn’t as clean as my mother would have wanted, but then again my mother wasn’t here.

“I say we call it done,” I said, tossing my apron on the counter.

“Maggie, come take a look.”

Eve stood by the window. Her fingers twitched as she pointed to a man I had never seen before, seated by the window in Delilah’s Deli across the street.

“Who is he?” she asked. “I don’t recognize him.”

I moved to get a better view, nudging her out of the way. “Well, he isn’t from around here.”

Eve clucked her tongue. Of course, he wasn’t from around here. His sophisticated clothing identified him as a city person, not a man who spent much time slinking around a small town in Central Oregon.

“He’s handsome,” she said and I silently agreed. Though it was getting dark I could still make out his thick mane of wavy brown hair and the strong line of his jaw. He was leaning forward, talking to a gaunt young man who hung on his every word.

“We have to find out what he’s doing here,” Eve said. “It’s just not natural.” Though the town festered with tourists during the fall months when we held the Haunted Dark Root Festival, it was rare to see anyone arrive after November and before May.

“Probably just passing through on his way to Salem or Portland. Blew out a tire or had to use the bathroom.”

“You have no imagination.”

Eve chattered on about how he was probably a famous Hollywood producer. She couldn’t allow anyone a normal life; she always reached for the dramatic.

But she was right. There was something special about the stranger. He had an energy that popped and sparkled.

As if he knew he was being watched, he turned in our direction. Eve ducked but I held my position, staring back. His eyes were as grey and stormy as the Oregon coastline. He knew things...secrets and mysteries.

I felt jolted awake after a long sleep.

“We should bring him over.” Eve’s dark eyes flashed as she pushed a step-stool across the floor to gather oils and vials from the top shelf. Next, she collected an assortment of herbs from bins beneath the counter. “...Candles. I need purple candles.”

Like a fly to a spider, I thought as I watched her. She was driven when she had a mission, not the same dreamy girl who stared out the window all day talking about the life she was missing out on while she ignored customers.

“We could just walk across the street and talk to him,” I said, moving away from the window.

“Just because you’re too good for magic, doesn’t mean some of us don’t respect the craft.”

“I never said I was against magic.”

“Just practicing it. We can’t all be Wilders, you know?” Eve placed her stack onto the counter and arranged the objects into neat piles.

I felt my face redden. Wilder was a slang word, used to describe a witch who had no control over her magic. The light above us flickered.

Besides,” Eve grinned, as if she had said nothing wrong. “This is far more fun. Now, where’s the book?” She scanned the room for our mother’s spell book.

I shrugged. If she wanted to lure a man here against his will that was her business, but I wasn’t going to help.

“Here it is!” She held up a small, leather-bound journal in her hands. It was a rare book, Mother claimed, filled with spells and incantations that would have been lost to time were they not carefully preserved on these pages. As a result, only Mother’s direct descendants could remove the book from her store without suffering a terrible curse.

What the curse was, nobody knew, but Miss Sasha’s magick was formidable, and no one in Dark Root wanted to risk it.

Eve went to work creating a concoction of vanilla, rose petals and thyme, hardly glancing at the open book beside her. She had probably committed her man-luring spell to heart.

“Wouldn’t it be exciting if we fell in love and he took me away from this horrible town? Now that Merry is gone, there’s nothing to keep me here.”

I felt a dagger in my heart at the mention of our older sister’s name. Merry had left three years ago to marry some guy she barely knew and nothing had been the same since.

“You really think you’re going to get out of here before me?” I asked.

“Someone’s got to take care of Mom. Besides,” Eve looked at the clock on the far wall then back to me, “I have to get out of here. I’m going to be a famous actress one day. A psychic told me.”

I snorted, peeking out the window again. The curtains to Delilah’s Deli were shut now, indicating that the cafe was closed. I glanced up and down the street, hoping to see a sign of him or his car, but the street was empty. “Even if your spell does work and you get him to wander over here, what makes you think he’s going to fall in love with you?”

“The travel spell is only part of it,” she said. “One sip of my special tea and he’ll treat me like the goddess I am.” Eve retreated into the back room, returning with a white porcelain cup and matching teapot. “You might not have dreams, Maggie, but I do. God forbid that three years from now when I’m your age, I’m still working as a sales girl in this dump.” She dropped her apron on the floor and kicked it under the counter.

Without warning the door opened, startling us both.

The stranger entered, removing his grey felt hat. He looked around the shop, taking it in. I glanced at Eve, wondering how her travel spell could have worked so quickly.

She shrugged in response.

“Well, hello there,” she said, regaining her composure “Our shop is closed but we were just making tea. You are welcome to join us.” She slinked towards the man, offering him the teacup.

The stranger blinked uncertainly, declining the tea with a wave of his hand. He strode past my sister and stood before me.

“Actually,” he said, staring at me with mystical eyes. “Maggie Maddock, I’m here for you.”

 

November 7, 2013

Excerpt: The Universe is a Very Big Place


2005
“What do you mean you’re moving?” Pete was chucking rocks at an old tombstone, trying to lodge out ghosts. Fortunately for the sleeping dead, most of them missed.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” John said. “It’s disrespectful.”
“What are they gonna do? Haunt me?” Pete laughed but let the rocks tumble from his hand and onto the ground.
John shrugged. A haunting might do Pete some good, actually.
“This place is gonna suck if you go,” Pete said, pulling down his zipper, looking for a place to piss. He might have relieved himself on one of the headstones had John not given him the disapproving eye.
John took in the view of the cemetery. He and Pete had been coming here for the last twenty years and it pained him a little to think that those days would soon end. “I have to go. This place…it’s death to me. Death to my soul.”
Pete laughed. “Death of your soul, man? What the hell have you been reading?” He rubbed his nose with his hand, not caring that he had just held his pecker with that very appendage. “You just need to get laid.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Is this about Mara? I told you, it was an accident. You didn’t want her anyway. My dick‘s still burning.” If Pete were any other man in the universe John would have hit him. Mara had been a girl he really liked, but of course, like all the other women in Samson, she had a thing for Pete.
“It’s not about Mara. It’s about living my life. I’m 26 years old, living in my brother’s old trailer, working a dead-end factory job. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never climbed a mountain. And the only adventure I’ve ever had was getting lost in the corn maze at the state fair.”
Pete snorted. “Yeah, that was funny. You cried like a little girl ‘til we found you.” Pete let out a big laugh and slapped his leg. “You read too many books. But whatever you want, man. I aint gonna try and stop you from following your dreams.” John found this uncharacteristic display of Pete’s humanity creepy, yet touching. The two had grown up together and Pete rarely supported anything that did not somehow support Pete. “So where you gonna go then? Colorado?” Pete turned his attention on John, his tone more than curious.
John reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small section of the Samson Weekly. “No. There’s a recruiter in Evansville looking for people with computer graphics skills to work for a new company in Arizona. I might apply.”
“Arizona?” Pete’s words were heavy with disbelief. “You know how fucking hot it is in Arizona? Your pansy ass can’t take the Indiana summers, let alone an Arizona summer. Besides, thought you wanted to be a real artist anyway.”
John shrugged. “It’s a start and better than sweating away in a factory. And how is it you know so much about Arizona?”
“My cousin lives there. Remember Amy? The girl who finally took your virginity?”
John blushed. Amy had been his first real girlfriend but before the end of their Junior year her family had moved away. They say you never forgot your first love. Amy had been his only love, if you could call it that. On some especially lonely nights John still thought about her and wondered what she was up to.
“I visited her a few years ago during the Fourth of July. You don’t even need matches to start fireworks out there. They ignite all by themselves.” Pete laughed again and almost chucked another rock. He caught himself and aimed it at a scampering squirrel in the field instead. Fortunately for the squirrel, Pete had a hard time hitting a stationary target, let alone a moving one.
“Well, it’s gotta be better than this. You hear all anyone’s talking about lately? Harnessing the power of corn and cow farts to save the world. I want no part of it.” John looked past the tombstones, past the gate that opened to the park, past the houses and farms that sat just up the road. In his mind’s eye he knew every detail of this town: every house, every field, every signpost. His mother said that someday he would appreciate the security of the familiarity, but he hadn’t gotten there yet.
Pete roused him from his thoughts. “Wanna hang out at the VW tonight? Jessica’s back from school and I bet she’s looking to get lucky. Can’t believe she went to an all-girl’s college. Anyway, you can have her this time. I think she’s bringing a friend.” Pete jingled the coins in his pocket and cocked a mischievous eyebrow towards John.
John cringed and shook his head. Pete had been with every girl in Samson. Twice. His claim to fame was that he had, at one time or another acquired every venereal disease the free clinic could treat, and a few they couldn’t. The last thing he wanted was to touch anyone or anything that Pete had laid his penis on. That was another good reason to move away. “No thanks. You can give me the details tomorrow.”
“Suit yourself,” said Pete, popping open the last of the six pack they had brought with them. “More for me. But remember, man. You can’t find adventure. You have to make it.”
John nodded, gathered up the empty cans, and made his way home wondering if his TV would be able to pick up The Wheel of Fortune or if it would be scrambled again.



Meditations on The Shadows of Dark Root

I may have gotten a bit metaphysical during the creation of The Shadows of Dark Root. I always knew I wanted Maggie and her companions to j...